I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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