I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
