Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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