Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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