I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
