So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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