ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
