His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
