She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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