I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
