I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
