Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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