You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
