You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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