Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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