dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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