Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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