Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
