We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
