I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
