White coat. Heels.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
