no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
