White coat. Heels.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
