I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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