He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
