if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish i was in the wii world.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
