For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
