i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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