You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
