how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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