i already hear my dad disowning me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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