I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
