i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
