Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize