I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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