I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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