She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
