That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
