You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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