The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
