I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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