I think scott just propositioned me for sex
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
