I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
