Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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