Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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