SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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