i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
