i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
