Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
