and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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