i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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