After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
