Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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