Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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