Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
