If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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