you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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