..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
