it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
